Reconnection with Trantra

Sexual and spiritual connection for growth and healing

Tantra is a great topic to explore. I knew what it was before but only at surface level. Now I’m really taking a look. And I’m realizing that I’m probably not the only one who overlooked this beautiful practice, this way of being – because I couldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. Because I was afraid to fail. Because I’ve feared rejection. All the REASONS I still haven’t brought to the light that interfere with the ability to fully connect, even though I’ve cleared so many already. I find more worth in myself now than I ever have, but I know change is continuous. There’s always room for improvement. And that’s where Tantra is so alluring!

Better than any lower vibrational pleasure, tantra goes much deeper to the core and has the ability to produce a natural high like never before. This is literally spiritual sex – connection that starts well before hands and lips are ever laid, if they ever are. This high has potential to intensify with each spiritual enlightenment. There is no cap to growth – unconditional love is limitless.

With the way our society has raised us, a lot of us feel obligated to shove this concept to the side believing it’s “too good to be true”. Sounds like what the devil might have whispered to Woodstock in ’69 after handing out buckets of weed. I wasn’t there, but I imagine some of those who sat it out appalled by this huge movement exclaiming, “Fornication?! gasp!” I imagine the thoughts and ideas of those who felt obligated to be conservative, preserved and pure. Ironically, sexual repression is often caused from a need to be “pure” through attempts of fulfilling the expectations of society and church. Withholding natural sexual expression can actually cause internal wounds and shadows. I know! I’ve had and still have them. Work in progress.

Particularly for those who have unresolved trauma and who are sexually repressed, tantra can appear a little intimidating. As they say, “People can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” The more each partner can go within themselves, the stronger they can meld with someone who matches the resulting vibration. The more they are capable of being “one” with each other 🤯 Doesn’t matter how physically experienced you are, tantric “orgasms” override it all – and they last much longer. If you can achieve a physical and tantric orgasm simultaneously, even better.

There’s really nothing wrong with casual, baseline body love all by itself. It’s still love. It’s just more, well…vanilla. It’s kind of like snacking on food while making a meal to keep the real hunger at bay. Almost everybody does it, but eventually they need more. Some might argue that this is a foundation for people who become promiscuous, giving their bodies in pursuit of a high they’ll never get: sex addicts. The people that some churches and authority figures condemn as whores. I said what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s human nature to want connection to others. It’s not our place to judge how others explore those connections or at what level they do so, especially when it doesn’t match our own. Leave it alone. Life isn’t a tea party. And even if it was, you can always throw away the invitation. Allowing ourselves to be open and vulnerable means embracing who we are and being accepting of who others are. Tantra is embracing compassion and understanding through unfiltered sexual reception and expression. It’s surrender to vulnerability and unadulterated passion. It’s freedom without fear holding you back.

What they also say and rings so true is: “Perfect people aren’t real and real people aren’t perfect.” Everybody has their crosses to bear. The more we step into our authentic selves, the more we release what isn’t ours, the more we can allow the space to open up to being tantric. And part of this is learning to be tantric with self. Not necessarily horny with self, but of course, that’s always an idealistic option. Real, genuine self-love isn’t just new age propaganda. It’s so necessary.

Me, personally? I fell asleep for awhile and forgot who I truly was. I’m waking up more and more and finding that each time I expose myself, I’m learning. It’s not always a blissful experience, but it’s a stepping stone to self love and respect. Personal growth through tantric loving is an opportunity to also weave the web of united compassion – everyone I touch is both student and teacher whether they are lovers or haters.

There’s no need to prematurely protect myself or close myself off from particular energies. Instead, I understand that similar energy is a projection of parts I probably need to heal. Exotic energy just might be a reflection of a piece of myself that I have lost; then – catch glimpses of in those bolder than I am to presently express them. They are potential inspiration. It’s almost always about lessons and blessings. Along the way, it’s my hope to teach and learn, growing spiritually, until I meet the one or those ones who can vibrate like I do.

Who can meet me in a deep and profound tantric space that benefits us all – and feels great too.

Eliminating fear of abandonment, I am learning to understand that Tantra doesn’t mean finding this deep vibrational connection and holding onto it for dear life. Being vulnerable means fully experiencing and accepting connections as they are or… as they are not. And they do change. Nothing is really a loss without also being a gain. Living in the present moment with fewer and fewer expectations makes it easier to grin and bare it all – and actually mean it. It makes it easier to dance to the beat of my own drum and never miss a note even if it’s off-key.

Jewel Brandes 2020